Has your three-year-old ever pooped on himself? How about while riding public transit and been deemed a biohazard? Wait...wait. It gets better. Has your three-year-old ever pooped on himself while riding public transit and been deemed a biohazard resulting in a load of public-transit passengers being told they were going to have to get off the bus they were riding on and wait twenty minutes for a "safe" bus to arrive and carry them on to their destination? No? Then I am afraid you will never share the feelings of both joy and utter humiliation that I felt today.
Oddly enough, the joy came when we had finally arrived at the stop nearest our home and were able to get off the bus in 90+ degree heat and walk the rest of the way home leaving behind all those poor individuals with the judgemental glares whom we had inadvertently delayed by nearly a half hour.
The humiliation came whilst waiting for the inbound Tates Creek bus, which had just switched from the outbound Nicholasville Road bus to finish its layover at Wal-Mart and continue on its route. It was at that moment, that my three-year-old stood up, declared that he had to use the bathroom and couldn't wait any longer, as poop began to roll down his leg. To be fair, he had said that he needed to use the bathroom. But I figured that it couldn't be that urgent because he had just went maybe 30-60 minutes prior.
Boy was I ever wrong. I informed the bus driver, thinking he would be able to give me some paper towel and some sort of cleaning spray to clean up my child's mess. What happened instead was the story that I have laid out for you above with the added bonus of cleaning my child up in a gas station bathroom, sans wipes and a clean surface to sit him on.
Oh well! Tomorrow is another day. I serve an awesome GOD. My children are happy and healthy. I have a beautiful wife who loves me and is the backbone of our family. And I am surrounded by friends and family who love and care about me.
So...if your three-year-old ever poops on himself while riding public transit and is deemed a biohazard resulting in a load of public-transit passengers being told they are going to have to get off the bus they are riding on and wait for a "safe" bus to arrive and carry them on to their destination, remember this:
THINGS COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE!!!
P.S. THANK GOD we had one of the most courteous and understanding LexTran drivers that my wife and I have ever encountered this afternoon.
