"Keep on keepin' on"

The current time is 3:18 a.m. Another miserable day is gone and I am half-way through another long, dark, and lonely night full of pain, misery and emptiness. I have been so sick for so long that every day and night seem the same.

It has become so hard to pick myself up out of this dreary funk that I have allowed myself to sink into. But when I look at my wife and think of all the sacrifices that she has made and continues to make, I know I that I must fight on. When I look into my three and five-year-old's eyes and see all the hope, joy and excitement in their eyes, I know that I must fight on. That I must "keep on keeping on" because the four of us have so much still to experience together.

Angenette, Lauryn, and Ben: I love you with all my heart and I pray that I can continue to summon the energy to fight on. You are the reasons I have done so this long.

XOXO

My reason...err, excuse for not being on here

I really have slacked off on writing or posting things here on my blog lately. For the few people who actually read this, I apologize. Believe it or not though, there is actually someone other than myself to blame for my absence. Her name is Angenette Crawford-Sharp. She is my wife. For the last four-and-a-half years, she has been a Middle School Science Teacher. the most dedicated, almost to a fault, Middle School Science Teacher that any school, student or parent could hope to have. She was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING at what she did. Unfortunately, that meant at times that our children and I went on the back burner.

The woman has boundless energy. She was getting up at 4:45 am so that she could get dressed and be at the bus stop by 5:46 am. She would ride the bus to the Transit Center where she would transfer to the bus that would take her down the street that her school was on. This entire process lasted until roughly 6:30 am. You have to understand that this was late by her standards. Before we lost our car, and she was able to drive to work, she was there at 6:00 am so that she could have "ample" time to set-up for the day. The roughly 45 minute travel time which that time of the morning would take about 12 minutes in a car was a real cramp to her style.

The school day actually started at 8:30 am and would last until 4:00 pm. During that time she would teach 5 classes and end the day by conducting a meeting because she was the Team Lead. She attended countless meetings on her team and departments behalf and relayed that information to her constituents in a timely and efficient manner. She handled all discipline issues and discipline referrals for her team. She coordinated field trip and PRO activities with the other 8th grade team and their team lead. She also worked very hard to coordinate her lessons with the other 8th grade Science teacher. All the while, he made no attempt to do the same. Last but not least, there were the parent contacts. I would guess that she spent a third of her day emailing or calling parents. She talked to them about their child's grades and what it would take for them to get the grade that the parent wanted. She talked to them about their child's discipline or more appropriately put, lack thereof.

Busy day right? I get exhausted just thinking about it. Guess what though. It is just getting started. At  the end of each day, she would hitch a ride home with a co-worker of her's who lives on our side of town. At this point you may be wondering why she didn't catch a ride with that person in the morning to avoid having to get up so early and ride the bus. The answer is fairly simple. That person did not get to school early enough to allow my wife the time that she needed to prepare for her students and her day.

Once she arrived home, I would immediately run out the door and head to work. Which left her at home alone 4 out of 5 weeknights. From the time she walked in the door, she would entertain our children who would cling to her from the moment that she walked in the door until the moment that their head hit the pillow that night. She fed them a snack even though most days I had just given them a snack. She prepared dinner and had it on the table at 6:00 pm every night. She bathed them, read to them and then put them down to bed at 8:30 pm.

It was at this point, nearly 16 hours into her day, that she would take a shower, and get herself ready for bed. But only so that she could sit in bed, surrounded by papers and projects that she was grading and lessons that needed prepared for the next day. A few times, I would come in the door between 10:30 pm and 12:30 am and find her slumped over in this pile of papers asleep. But most of the time, she was still hard at it, insisting that she "finish looking over one last classes" assignments for that day.

It wasn't until I turned the light off and insisted that she lay down that she finally conceded that the day was in fact over. This generally happened around 1:30 am. Only so that she could get up and do it all over again in roughly 3 hours.

You may or may not have noticed that my last blog entry was posted on June 3rd. My wife's last day of the school year was on June 4th. Since that day, I have delighted in every moment that I have been able to spend with her and our children Lauryn and Ben. Especially her. I am attempting to make up for the lost "us" time that we missed over the last 4 and a half years. And that friends, is why I haven't posted a blog entry for the last 13 days. I have been spending time with my wife.

I will do my very best in the coming days and weeks to do better about posting on here. I must warn you though. I don't anticipate my wife starting her new job as a Nursing Assistant until mid to late July. So, if my entries are sparse in the time in between, I do hope that you understand. :)

A short rant and plenty "to-do"

Yesterday was such and insanely busy, run around day. Thank goodness I had my mom's car to get the errands done. However, having their car was part of the reason that yesterday was such a frantic day. But, oh well. Yesterday is over and today is another beautiful day. Thank you LORD for seeing fit to open my eyes and get me on my way this morning.  Thank you for giving me another day with my soul mate and partner, Angenette. Thank you for two beautiful and healthy children. Thank you for the gift of family and friends. To GOD be the glory.

Today, I need to finish up the to-do list that I have leftover from Wednesday. Here is what it looks like with a few additions.

1. Feed L&B breakfast
2. Feed L&B lunch
3. Get L&B down for a nap
4. Give L&B a snack
5. Clean the master bathroom
6. Catch up on Google Reader
7. Wash and dry bedclothes
8. Put above mentioned bedclothes back on bed
9. Finish folding and put away the white clothes and towels from Wednesday
10. Clean out fridge
11. Wash dishes
12. Straighten living room and dining room
13. Clean the stroller
14. Sweep entryway
15. Work on planning Lauryn's birthday party
16. Call office about new lease, wood floors, blind (AGAIN)

Have a great day! More later!

- b

A Monsterous To-Do List

This was my to-do list when I woke up this morning:

1. Feed the kids breakfast
2. Feed the kids lunch
3. Give the kids a nap
4. Give the kids a snack
5. Clean up the lunch mess
6. Get a diaper bag ready for Angenette to take the kids to the salon with her
7. Get the kids dressed to go to the salon with Angenette
8. Wash dishes
9. Wash seven loads of laundry
10. Fold seven loads of laundry
11. Put away seven loads of laundry
12. Clean master bathroom
13. Take out trash
14. Take a shower
15. Blog
16. Catch up on Facebook
17. Catch up on Google Reader

This is my to-do list now:

1. Feed the kids breakfast
2. Feed the kids lunch
3. Give the kids a nap
4. Give the kids a snack
5. Clean up the lunch mess
6. Get a diaper bag ready for Angenette to take the kids to the salon with her
7. Get the kids dressed to go to the salon with Angenette
8. Wash dishes
9. Wash seven loads of laundry
10. Fold seven loads of laundry
11. Put away seven loads of laundry
12. Clean master bathroom
13. Take out trash
14. Take a shower
15. Blog
16. Catch up on Facebook
17. Catch up on Google Reader

I must be truthful, I haven't got the last load out of the dryer but I am still going to check it off becasue six loads of laundy is a task in and of itself. I won't get to clean our bathroom until tomorrow. I will get the kids a snack and get them ready to go out the door when they wake up from their nap. Right now I am writing this blog entry so that I can mark one more thing off of my list and then I am going to go take a shower before "Thing One" (Lauryn) wakes up from her nap. :) Don't really see myself getting to tackle Google Reader today seeing as how I work until midnight but oh well. It will still be there tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Nancy Drew!

This one is for my wife, Angenette. She was a huge Nancy Drew fan growing up and still is to a certain extent now.

This week, a grand female icon of American culture turned 80. No, it's not Barbie. For literary-minded women, it's actually a much more revered figure: Nancy Drew. (After all, have Bette Davis, Barbara Walters, Hillary Clinton, Mary Tyler Moore, Joan Mondale, Fran Lebowitz, Beverly Sills, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg ever mentioned Barbie as a favorite role model?)

The titian-haired sleuth from Riverdale, Calif., first appeared to the American public on April 28, 1930, when "The Secret of the Old Clock" was published. Since then "Nancy Drew" books have gone on to sell more than 65 million copies in the US and 200 million worldwide in 25 different languages. (She's "Kitty Drew" in Sweden and "Alice Roy" in France.)

There is also a new series of "Nancy Drew" graphic novels and, of course, there was the 2007 movie starring Emma Roberts.

Most of us who grew up loving the books now know that there was no Carolyn Keene (the author name that appears on every book's spine) and that Nancy has had various ghost writers over the decades. (For the full story of her creation, try "Girl Sleuth: Nancy Drew and the Women Who Created Her" by Melanie Rehak.)

To mark the occasion of Nancy's birthday, original publisher Grosset & Dunlap is releasing an 80th-anniversary edition of the first book, "The Secret of the Old Clock." The book will mark a return to the 1959 version of the story (with just a bit of updating to remove some unfortunate racial stereotyping).

For those of us who loved the old blue roadster (as opposed to the blue hybrid she drives in Simon & Schuster's updated series), it should be a treat. In fact, if you're looking for a Mother's Day gift for a woman anywhere between the ages of 18 and 80, you would be well advised to grab a copy.

Credits: Marjorie Kehe, Christian Science Monitor

Nutri-Grain bars and bananas

It's back to the usual routine this morning. Last week, Angenette was on Spring Break. The kids got up early every morning anticipating that she would be here and of course, she was. She made us a nice hot breakfast each and every morning that she was home. I know for certain that the kids enjoyed this because I usually give them Nutri-Grain bars and fresh fruit or a bowl of oatmeal along with sippie cups of chocolate milk.

It has been nearly a week since I have posted anything on here. I have several things that I want to get up and I doubt that I will get to all of them today. Oh well. I'm off to feed the kids breakfast....Nutri-Grain bars and fruit of course. Then we are going to have to venture out to the store on the bus. Wish me luck.

More later!

- b

All about me!

Many of my entries lately have been dedicated to basketball. What can I say? I am an avid sports fan - especially basketball - especially in March. So, when I logged in this morning, I decided that my first entry of the day, the one that I try to squeeze in before the kids wake up, or shortly thereafter, would be an update on me.

First off, an update on my health. Two weeks ago, I went to St. Joseph and had the lumbar puncture, the Cisternogram, and the MRI. Since all of the dye that had been injected into my spine had went up into my brain and came back off as it should, my Neurosurgeon determined that the fluid that was on my brain, had beem there for some time. He then gave me to options. One was to have a fairly invasive procedure to have a shunt inserted which would serve a dual purpose. It would drain the excess fluid that is already up there and it would also divert the flow of the spinal fluid away from the enlarged ventricle. The other was to let the fluid stay where it is and manage the pain from the resulting headaches with prescription pain relievers. For obvious reasons, I chose the latter.

Work has been much of the same lately. After my tiff with my boss over getting the days off that I needed for the above mentioned procedures, I wasn't even sure that I was going to have a job anymore. Not to mention the fact that I had a cash issue that same day. Thank goodness, it all worked out though. Now, we have two new empoyees and instead of the usual 23-26 hours that I am scheduled. I only got scheduled for 20. Not sure what is going to happen but I guess that only time can tell. I am not terribly fond of that job, but it is a job and it gives us the money that we need to buy groceries and the necessities that we need. Not to mention that it affords us a few small luzuries.

I still can't believe how blessed I am. GOD has provided so much for me and I know that even the health troubles are in HIS master plan for a reason. I have a beautiful wife who is so smart and so talented. I have two children who are so smart and have personalities beyond imagination. And best of all, THEY ARE ALL HEALTHY! Thank GOD for that and thank GOD for them.

- b